"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Paul to the persecuted at Philippi (2:5-11)

06 January 2012

On a personal note: The Lord gives, the Lord takes away....

But at the moment the Lord is giving and taking more than an ADHD five year old. What on earth?

For those of you who know me in real life, you know my mother-in-law passed away on Tuesday after a few months' of wrestling with cancer. I'm going to write more about her later, once I have it all processed out, sorted through. Short story is that she was wonderful and I'll miss her a lot. She was an amazing mother, a kind mother-in-law and a magical grandmother.

But even those of you who know me in real life probably don't know that my own grandfather, on my mom's side, is a bit of a mystery. He estranged himself from the family over sixty years ago and in searching for general family tree stuff we traced his mother to the same county where my paternal grandparents grew up.

A few years ago, I posted on a web forum for any family tree info on my estranged grandfather. Later I learned through another search that my grandfather had died in 1985. That's about all I knew and I kind of forgot about it, although I'm still curious where he came from.

Today I got a message, from that old post on that family tree forum, from his neice. I know there are a lot of scammers out there, but you have to actually know my family to be able to produce my mother's first name. Seriously, its almost tougher than Rumplestiltskin.

I guess that means I have cousins.

I found that my grandfather was the third of five children. Not a surprise, but not a known bit of information.

And I have to say, I'm a bit freaked out. What if they are scammers? Weirdos? or they just have too much baggage from the past to know any more what to do with me than I do with them?

And is this how, a little bit of how, my adopted son will feel when some day he searches (I do hope he will) for his birthmother? I have a whole chunk of the family that stands under a banner reading "Who are these people?" Are they more interesting as a mystery? (probably) What if they're jerks? (Probably not) At least they speak English. (My youngest's bio-family would speak Korean.)

And I guess this is good for me, to walk a mile. To get a glimpse.

But this week, of all weeks? Seriously, God... you've got to be kidding.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to read about your mother in law passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family. I'll give you some related thoughts on my family and learning identity info later in life when I see you next. I'll be on TSM campus M-F Jan 15-20 for my DMin. Maybe then?