"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Paul to the persecuted at Philippi (2:5-11)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Strange comforts.

Today we managed finally, to bury my grandfather. Not that that's really a mournful thing; I never met him and he died in 1985. But I had wondered from time to time, especially after the last of my grandparents passed away in 1991, if the old guy was out there somewhere.

I guess that's part of what my youngest (adopted) child will experience. Is his bio father around the corner? Still in Korea? Dead? There is hope some day that he will be able to make contact again with his birth mom, and I hope he can, but his bio dad is probably out of the question.

I guess its healthy for our family to have had that same set of questions, that my maternal grandfather was an unknown all my life. He knew as little about me as my son's bio father knows of him; we don't even exist to him. Last mother saw her father she was pregnant with me. Last M's biomom saw his biodad, she didn't even know she was pregnant.

Judging from traces on the internet and mother's retelling of that last meeting over 35 years ago, I think my grandfather had regrets that are the fruit of repentance. Holy shame and the desire to make things right that could never be righted. Its sad to think how many dads are out there who have by their own actions been so alienated from their offspring that all they can offer the next generation is their own regret.

But sometimes regret is a holy offering indeed; and sometimes it can't be fully received as such in this lifetime. Those are the sad facts of a broken world.

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